An exit - not so graceful

The sudden demise of saint Bhaiyuji Maharaja has left the whole of India in dismay and why not? A saint committing suicide by shooting himself compels us not just to question what led him to take such a severe step but also to question the society we live in, in today’s era.

A saint is perceived to be above materialistic things and to be unaffected by all the wordily relationships. Then, why and how did all these superficial things catch the so-called saint into their trap and finally lead to his fatal end? Secondly, if saints are also getting affected by the venom spilled by the foundation of this society, then it’s high time to start rethinking our values and ethics. Mostly, to start thinking in what direction do we wish to lead ourselves.

Even though suicide does sound like a coward step but the idea to kill yourself doesn’t develop in a day. It goes through a long process and many factors contribute to the same. The components mostly being relationship statuses, financial stability, relation with peers etc. and everything which comes under the general functioning of a society. India is one of the leading countries in increasing suicide rates and the news of a saint committing suicide has put our whole working as a society and as a family under a question.

Rather than just focusing on what interpersonal relations or what property disputes caused Bhaiyuji Maharaja’s death, I believe this time should be used in self-analysing and in questioning the practices we are indulging ourselves in.

There is, of course, no harm in being ambitious or aspiring to be rich or successful but at what cost needs a serious thinking. There is a famous tale from South Indian mythology where a queen explains to his husband how he could have it all from his dynasty to his family and still be a religious or say devotee to his lord. The key is detachment. Detachment seems to be missing from this generation. This generation seems to be too sentimental about all the materialistic things and wordly relations around.

A very good article was published in the “Times of India” which talked about the graceful exit. When the situation demands leave, just leave. It doesn’t mean to face the failure but to take a step back and evaluate. The race of doing it all at once and of reacting quickly needs a pause today. If the situation doesn’t seem to be fair, just make a graceful exit from it instead of clinging on to it before it gets ugly. Its okay to make a departure and come back again.

The same phenomenon applies to death. It's very important to leave this body with elegance. Suicide or leaving behind the ugly unfinished business is not an ideal way to bid goodbye as it leaves no good message for a family or for loved ones. For that, its very important to learn the concept of leading a good life, the concept of detachment and as stated above the concept of exiting gracefully.

Let us not turn this unfortunate casualty into a debate on Bhaiyu maharaja’s connections, relations or money but make it a significant moment of self-inspection and evaluation.

No game changer - Veere di wedding

It’s ok to accept that a particular movie is another chick-flick. It’s ok to accept that nothing great would come out of a particular film. And why not? Not every movie is meant to create a change. Not every production needs to start a revolution or change the mentality of the whole society. Not every women-centric movie needs to be a game changer for the role of a female in the movie business. 

But maybe actresses of Veere di wedding didn’t realise the same while going through the script because during the promotion of the movie whole cast specially Swara Bhaskar and Sonam Kapoor were continuously spotted saying it’s not a chick-flick and is going to change the definition of women roles in the movie. Coming that from an actress like Swara Bhaskar who has carried a film like “Neel batte sanata” on her shoulder is a big thing or maybe she was trying to promote some other movie. Because after watching the movie you are left with no message. What game changer things are we planning in our head for women now in any business needs to be clearly defined. 

Only if a girl can abuse and openly talk about sex, we have created a strong character for her? Only because Kalandi played by Kareena Kapoor is shown afraid of commitment like most of the boys in movies, we have given a just depiction of women in today’s era? 

Does for the acclaimed actresses like Sonam Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor and Swara Bhaskar the meaning and concept of feminism is that shallow? What dictionaries are these main lead actresses are using? These show-biz people need to understand they have a great responsibility on their shoulder while they produce a movie because in India trends are still set by these big stars and their movies. They need be to cautions while serving content to the audience. Yes, they are there to make money but they cannot play with minds of people for the sake of it. 

For all those people who thought that Sonam Kapoor lost her feminism just because she changed her surname after her marriage, don’t you think the whole movie was an insult to womanhood?

The whole movie revolved around nothing but few adult jokes. I remember one of the interviews of Sonam Kapoor where she was caught saying, why aren’t there any films made on female friendship like “Zindgi na milegi dobara” or like “dil chahta hai”? And veere di wedding is going to be the icebreaker for the same. My question is, first, was the movie based on friendship? Because there was little about the bond they shared apart from them objectifying boys together the same way movies did to girls for a  long time. 

Second, if it was a movie on female bonding, do really girls talk only about sex and boys when they bond with each other. Why just to compete male-centric films we need to make a woman do same things boys do? Why can't we just accept the fact that we girls function in a different way and produce something more realistic than this? 

What the movie ‘Queen’ did was phenomenal. The journey of a girl who was left before her marriage was actually a movie which talked about a real issue and changed the mentality of many. 

This movie could have done the same if the makers had invested more time in the journey of these four girls. How kalandi (kareena Kapoor) became commitment-phobic? Why didn’t the marriage between Sakshi (Swara Bhaskar) and her husband work out? What trauma did Meera (Shikha Talsania) go through after running away from her parents and why did Sonam Kapoor desperately wanted to get married? The movie instead of answering these questions and their bond in between went on a different track by showing some inappropriate scenes. 

They could have handled each issue with great sensitivity like Zoya Akhtar did in “Zindagi na milegi dobara”. Few scenes of Swara Bhaskar were not only inappropriate but were also not necessary. It’s really hard to digest a woman who had the nerves to thrash Sanjay Leela Bhansali for glorifying Jauhar on the big screen, agreed on doing a shallow character like Sakshi in Veere di wedding. 

I am not saying there is anything wrong in making a commercial movie because obviously, all producers are there to make money but what’s wrong is the means of promotion they used that surely mislead the audience. These are the same actresses who posted photographs of themselves with a placard saying I am Hindustan and I am ashamed, to protest against Kathua rape case, were they not ashamed to agree on doing shallow characters which projected women in poor light and depict something which holds no importance in Indian society?

I agree its time we should start talking openly about sex and other things like commitment issues faced by this generation but there could be a subtle way to do the same. The movie was disappointing in every sense because it could not bring forward any issue properly.