It’s been 11 days to the sad and unfortunate death of Disha. And yesterday, all 4 accused of the rape and murder were killed in an encounter. All the debate and discussion about the rape and the encounter is already out there, thanks to social media. There’s nothing much left for me to say.
To be honest, I don’t have anything to say because when I think about the case, I cannot point fingers at anyone. I cannot call out on anyone and say, hey! It’s your fault. I am not in a place where I can question the government or lecture how a mother should raise his son or ask girls to be more careful or suggest them to keep pepper spray etc. I have no complaints and no as such lecture to give.
I am just sorry and my crime is so huge that I cannot even ask for forgiveness. I am sorry because it’s been 7 years to Nirbhaya and I have done nothing to make this society a better place for any girl, for that matter, for anyone.
These 11 days I have done nothing but introspect myself, my attitude and my responsibility as a part of this society. I am no one to question the government, the police, accused’s mother or that poor girl when I did not do my bit to make this place a better one. I realised in these 11 days that it is so damn easy and convenient to question the system but so damn hard to look inside. I cannot look at myself in the mirror because it is me, all me, who lead this society to this horrific level.
What was I doing when a guy was making a sexist joke? What was I doing when my boss was calling his another female colleague by names? What was I doing when a group of my friends were trying to objectify a woman? Nothing! All these things sound small and trivial on paper but all this allows the culture of rape and harassment to prosper. All these small actions allow one to believe that it’s ok to think that men have the right over women’s body. These trivial actions add up to the horrific incident like Hyderabad rape case.
It will be too late for me to be a mother and teach my son how to respect women. I cannot wait that long to make my contribution. The change needs to happen now. I need to monitor my attitude towards other women, I need to check my male friends' behaviour towards women other than me. I need to talk to my younger brothers about the situation and I need to do my bit to stop the culture where it is ok to objectify any girl.
Recently, I was watching an actors round table by Anupama Chopra. Along with some big Bollywood names, South Indian actress ‘Parvathy Thiruvothu’ was also present in the panel. While talking about her movie choices and her take on a film like Arjun reddy (Hindi remake - Kabir Singh), she said, “I would do nothing as an actress, as someone who has the power to influence the large number of people, which objectifies women or which glorifies the hero who overpower a woman. Because the film can influence thousands of people especially in a country like India where audience worship stars.” On the contrary, Manoj Bajpayee, whom I admire the most as an actor said, “I can do any part good, bad, evil for just the sake of it. I don’t go into the calculation of its impact.”
Today, as we lose one more daughter of this country, we have to choose between the two most contrast behaviours as stated above. One, where you are actually ready to bring a change by your little actions or the another where you are ready to just complaint and question everyone on social media but you and do possibly nothing to make the situation better.
